Ohh the Willies!!

My day last Friday...AFTER gloating about our lovely temperatures we were having! haha

I spent most of the morning/early afternoon sowing LOTS of seeds.. hours of seed planting.  Eventually I got a bit tired of sitting and decided to clean out my pond.  Now, my pond is not really a POND.. it's a small plastic pond form that it took days to dig down in my hard red clay to match the pond's form kind of pond.... still never did totally match, but it did sit in there well enough so I'd filled it up with water from my hose, added some pond plants I received off freecycle and set up my pond sprinkler/aerator and decided it would do for the season.

That was last year around April or so... in the months to follow my sprinkler/aerator would get its filter clogged up at least 2x a month.. so I'd have to fish it out and clean it off by hands and finish it with the hose sprayer.  It was annoying, but I loved having the pond as it attracted all kinds of dragonflies (my mom's fave!) and, much to my dismay, quite the friendly, frisky froggy fellow...  He would call all the 'ladies' every night and have quite the party.  But even the LOUD frog calls at night didn't deter me, I still loved having the pond.  I loved the sound of the water from the sprinkler and really loved the dragonflies that would flitter all over the area.

Fast forward to last Friday.  I'd taken out the pump/aerator when it clogged up mightily and just left it out.  Leaves had fallen all into the pond and I knew I had quite the job on my hands with dredging them out.  I figured I'd drain the pond and give it a good cleaning anyways since I still had to even out the dig site underneath.

So, I swiped the rake lightly thru the water and started raking up the soggy leaves and sludge from the bottom.  It was gross.  And stinky.  But not impossibly gross.  Or impossibly stinky.  I finished the narrow end and started working on the rounded end.  I reached my hands in and pulled out the water plants and started raking that end out as well.  First swipe came up with leaves, sludge....and a dead, bloated frog...

blech
ack
yuck
ick
gag
ugh
and etc...

Remember, I'd actually reached in there and pulled out those plants just before this so I was feeling REALLY grossed out...(and thankful I hadn't pulled up a frog with my bare hands!!!)

I kept raking and out came another blob of leaves, sludge...and another dead, bloated frog.  Then another... and then another.... 4 dead frogs...  Oh, I cannot tell you how much that grossed me out.  How much I worried was this MY fault because I'd pulled out the pump?!?!?!  Surely frogs have enough sense to know to get out of nasty water and find something better!  Don't they??  ugh.

By this point I'm pretty grossed out, but still trudging forward with the task of cleaning out the pond...  I asked Simone to bring me a bucket, which she did and I started to fill it.. one leg on each side of the pondform, straddling it, I let the bucket fill up and started to lift it up to toss the water out.. As I was lifting it up Simone says, "Oh, look, there's a crack all the way down the side of that bucket."  

Let's take that observation in for a moment... Seriously??

The water in those few seconds started pouring out the crack all down the front of me, my shorts, puddling into my shoes.  Not just water.. DEATH water... gross, stinky, smelly, have been sitting with dead icky ucky yucky frogs in it for who knows how long DEATH water..

lord help me...

The squealing/shrieking began with no stop in sight.  The "this is so gross I can't believe this is happening to meeeeeeeee" dance began.  I'm sure my neighbors got QUITE the show....

I caught my breath.  I accepted my circumstances.  I figured well, I'm already disgustingly nasty now... might as well finish it.. (all the while thinking of my nice longgggggggg shower I was going to have the minute I was done!)  So I proceeded filling the bucket and tossing it again and again and again.  Once the water level got down about 4" I noticed all these clear gooey leech-type creatures all over the sides of the pond...  This led to yet another "this is so gross I can't believe this is happening to meeeeeeeeee" dance all over again.  (I hate slugs therefore it stands to reason that I would hate also whatever these icky creatures were as well.. and again, I had THAT  death and unknown leechy creatures water poured all over me..)

I kept emptying the pond bucket by bucket until it was light enough that I could lift the shallower end of the pond form.  The plan was to lift it out and off to the side.  The fuller end had some plants in pots sitting around it so I moved down there to get those out of my way.  I'm stepping all around the area they are sitting which is now pretty mucky with the pond water drainage.  (you DO know this is leading up to something else, right??) Back and forth I'm moving pots and stepping gingerly around the dead frogs that I, not in a very intelligent moment I might add, tossed into the garden to get them AWAYYYYY from me...  I pick up the last and largest pot and right underneath it was a not so friendly lil copperhead snake.  We locked eyes (at least *I* think we did...) and I proceeded to move VERY quickly outta his way!

I don't think I've moved that fast since I was at least 10, maybe 7 or 8.  I slid in the muck and struggled to keep my balance and stay as far away from that darn snake as I could.  I think I leaped at least 3ft into the air AND sideways in one fell swoop.  That's probably an exaggeration, but it certainly felt like that!

LOTS of squealing and shrieking ensued.  Enough to bring my daughter and my youngest boy outdoors to see what the heck was going on.

Now, I'm no stranger to copperheads.  At our old house I'd have to kill at least 6-8 every summer to lessen the population.  I was never scared of them before.  I just knew I had to do it because I had kids running barefoot in our yard all the time and darn if I was going to have a copperhead bite them.  But for some reason the events of the past 30minutes of pond sludge, DEATH water, bloated frogs and leechy things, and now a snake that had been RIGHT next to my foot.. well my nerves were just SHOT, let me tell you!

My son, Z, went and found a shovel and went after the snake.  The snake fell into the hole the pond had been in and which was now filled with water and he's slithering all over the place in the water trying to get back out.  Oh my, that was an even more freaky site!  I should also say that the whole time my son is trying to get this snake it's trying to get out RIGHT where HIS feet were.. and he's just nonchalantly still talking on his cell phone throughout the entire process... craziness..  He finally got the snake out and disposed of it.  I dragged the pond form to the driveway and poured nearly a whole gallon of bleach into it and filled it with water.

And I left it sitting there.  No way was I ready to deal with leechy things at that point...

I started up the stairs and decided I was heading straight for the shower.  To shower for at least 2 hours. Because, let's face it that is about how long it will probably take for me to feel clean again!!  Just before I headed in I realized I still hadn't turned off the dang hose.  I started down and looked at the porch and thought well, the hose is already on, and I'm already filthy and wet.... I might as well spray down the porch to wash off all the potting soil I'd spilled during my maniacal seed planting marathon... as well as spray under Gally's cage because he'd 'missed' his box a few times and there was some bunny poo on the porch.

I started spraying off the porch, leaving Gally's 'garden enhancements' for last.  Meanwhile 3 carpenter bees that love to fight with each other started flying all around me so I raised the spray level and let them have a 'cooling down moment'.. to think about how they're treating each other and all that.  It did the trick, they went down and had to cool it for a bit while they dried off.  heh.  I went back to the task at hand and started to spray under Gally's cage.  However, I'd forgotten to lighten the spray level again.  Yea... not a smart moment for me...

The second the water shot out of that hose I knew I was in trouble...'Poo' water back sprayed right back up and into my face, hair, and shirt.

I'll let you have a moment to let that sink in.  I'm pretty sure that I did the same for myself when it happened...At that point, I decided I was DONE.  DONE with gardening.  DONE with ponds.  DONE with frogs, snakes, and carpenter bees.  DONE with bunnies and their poo.  DONE with all of it!

I dropped the hose, didn't care that it was still on and walked right into the house and up the stairs to the shower.

I didn't come out for at least 2 hours.

Ok, maybe only 1 hour, but it was a full hour of scrubbing!!  I sent my daughter out to turn off the hose and I didn't go outside the rest of the day.  Or the next day.   Or the next...

On Monday I planted more seeds and did the same on Tuesday and Wednesday in between home schooling subjects.  I'm making up a nice long list of my seeds to share with you.  Ya'll are going to think I'm nuts there's so many!!

Yesterday I contemplated on moving the (now, dehydrated ..) dead frogs out of my garden bed.  But then decided it would be a nice job for my son.  (I love you son!) :))

Happy (gross) gardening!

p.s.  Just so you know, bleach does kill leechy things.  I just thought I should put that out there as my helpful garden hint #1.    I'm so helpful aren't I?  :)